I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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