Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
