Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
