Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize