he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wish my penis had an off switch
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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