at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
