I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
