i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The best revenge is premature balding
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize