I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
