He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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