I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
