i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
