I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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