Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
