Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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