I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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