make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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