I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
