Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
