I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
