i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
