i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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