I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
