Plan B is the new Plan A
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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