At least make sure they are 18
Why
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
