Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize