she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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