idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
