i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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