well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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