She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
NoShamevember. You game?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
