At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I can't turn off my feet"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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