Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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