You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
