Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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