Soap is not a condiment
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This is my gift to your gina
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
