he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
