using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
