Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
