I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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