I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
