i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
