My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
