They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
