Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
