the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
