I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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