How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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