forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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