dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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