are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
