I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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