So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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