No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
