I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
