Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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