I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
