need another drink. this is the easiest way
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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