I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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