My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
