Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize