sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Bring me that man meat
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize