There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
