So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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