this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
sex in a hospital.. check
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
