I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
